ToThinkTwice

If I’m a sarcastic asshole when I talk to you its either because I really like you and feel comfortable teasing you

Or I really hate you and don’t care if you know it

Good luck figuring out which one

(via nicolasiscaged)

jumpers-and-bowties:

arstark:

dangerhamster:

arstark:

there is no evidence to prove that timelords exist, however there is no evidence to prove that timelords don’t exist therefore timelords do exist everybody go home

except for timelords - they can’t go home.

NO

(via god-yes-sherlock)

metallickah:

unrealthings:

batreaux:

this is my linen closet, *shows you some towels*
and this is my lenin closet *shows you communist propaganda*

#Bed Bath and Bolsheviks

#communism works on paper but not on tile or marble

(via feferipeixestho)

loverstabbedaswordthroughmyheart:

i-was-so-alone-and-iou-so-much:

vangoghstars:

sparkafterdark:

glamour-parade:

How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked on top of you

I’m pretty much positive that’s why poetry was even invented in the first place.

for the constellations of your skin to brush against
the earth of mine
i would swim the seas a thousand times

(please let’s fuck now)

That was beautiful

poets

(via captainloudmouth)

nprfandom:

laeradr:

reasons black clothing is superior

• everyone knows that you’re a fucking badass
• everything matches
• you look like you could disappear into the void at any given moment
• what are stains

and I still get at least 5 notifications every day reminding me that semen stains black clothes

(via feferipeixestho)

squareclocks:

kushroom:

so you’re saying I can win 5 iphones every day??? and all I have to do is give my credit card number on this website I’ve never heard about??? well slam me in my tender butthole sir you’ve just got yourself a deal

Slam me in my tender butthole 

I think I’ve just found my new favorite phrase. 

(via feferipeixestho)

heartsofthebroken:

einsteinonacid:

ineedtogetpaid:

i thought LGBT was a sandwich

Lettuce, Glitter, Bacon, Tomato?

Best post on tumblr.

(via jesymckinney)

flickwillfly:

keepfitstayfab:

1. Get some cheap dishes and break them when you get upset.
2. Learn how to say “NO” and don’t feel guilty about it
3. Buy something frivolous for yourself once in awhile, like a new hat. 
4. Never again do anything you don’t want to do. 

that’s damn good advice

you see can’t get that advice now because it would be considered destructive

(via thescribblingwoman)

foie:

• greet
• chat
• chat
• chat
• joke
• joke
• joke
• joke
• compliment appearance
• compliment personality
• flirt
• flirt
• flirt
• hug
• hug
• hug
• hug
• hug
• hug
• amorous hug
• amorous hug
• first kiss
• kiss
• kiss
• kiss
• make out
• make out
• make out
• make out
• woo-hoo
• woo-hoo
• woo-hoo
• propose

(via jesymckinney)